the Weight of Waiting

I have a hidden talent and when you hear what it is you are going to be green with envy or maybe not. You see, I have this innate ability to choose the wrong line. It does not matter which store I enter, when I arrive at the front of the store with my cart or arms full of merchandise to purchase, 9 times out of 10 I choose the wrong line. It's a gift, I know! Even when I carefully observe the amount of items others in line have to purchase, the speed of the checker, their chattiness or lack thereof, I still choose the slowest line in the joint. My record is 10 for 10 when I am in a hurry. When I have to be somewhere else at a certain time and that time is fast approaching...wrong line. There I stand with my foot tapping, mind mentally clicking down the minutes while simultaneously trying to decide if I hop to another line. Fear keeps me stuck in the same line. Fear that if I move to another line it might actually be slower. Fear that if I walk away from my spot, as bad as it is, I will lose said spot and thereby cause myself to wait even longer. You see my conundrum?!

Why is waiting so difficult? Why does five minutes in line at the store seem like forever? I spend five times that looking at social media thinking I am only spending a measly five minutes. It's all relative. All waiting is relative to the object of our waiting.

I find myself hating the waiting. Waiting for the door to open. Waiting to get to where I am going. Waiting for my timing to line up with God's timing. Just waiting.

I know that waiting is not a new thing. In fact is it quite an ancient thing. The scriptures are full of waiting. Psalms has much to say on the theme of waiting on the Lord. Here are just a few.

"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD" (Psalm 27:14, NIV).

"We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield" (Psalm 33:20, NIV).

"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him" (Psalm 37:7a, NIV).

"I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope" (Psalm 130:5, NIV).

I understand that what I am waiting for is nothing compared to being delivered from enemies who are out to do me physical harm or being enslaved by another country like the psalmists. I get that my life is not horrible. It is actually pretty good. That being said, I still hate waiting.

"Lean into it," people say. "Focus on learning what you need to learn during this time," they say. These well-meaning words are nice and all but not very helpful.

So, what is my point? Waiting is difficult. Waiting can be miserable and frustrating. Waiting can seem like forever. How I decide to spend my time waiting is what matters. In the slow line at the store, I can either tap my toes in frustration or have a conversation with the other people in line. While looking at closed doors, I can either get mad or I can keep moving forward by trying another door.

I want to live life while I wait.  

What are you waiting for? How do you live life while waiting? Share your best tips for making waiting bearable.

Extraordinary You

Have you ever really looked at a seed? Most seeds are pretty plain, unassuming, lack luster. They seem dead. They are strewn everywhere by the wind and critters. Somehow one falls into good soil and receives the water and nutrients it needs. It is almost miraculous in many ways to watch it become what it was meant to be. Whether a beautiful flower, a tomato plant, or a majestic tree, it began with an ordinary looking seed. It went from ordinary to extraordinary. The many obstacles it must survive, like attacks by bugs, being trampled by an animal, droughts, or disease makes it all the more extraordinary.  

Sometimes I feel utterly ordinary, lack luster, plain. Forgetting that all I am created to be was placed in me from the beginning of time. Ever been there? Flooded with doubt and overwhelmed by the ordinariness of your life?

In these moments, I am drawn to an event, a celebration where Jesus takes something mundane, plain, utilitarian, and makes it into something extravagant, excellent, extraordinary. We find Jesus at a wedding in Cana. He is celebrating with friends and family. Enjoying making memories with those he loved. A little problem arose, they ran out of wine. Now to us this seems simple enough. Go to the store and get more. Not so, in those days. Jesus' mom, Mary, comes to him to tell him of this issue. His reply, "Dear woman, that's not our problem," (John 2:4a). Mary instructs the servants to do whatever Jesus tells them to do, in essence ignoring her son's reply. Then as you may or may not know, Jesus does something amazing.

"Standing nearby were six stone jars, used for Jewish ceremonial washing. Each could hold twenty to thirty gallons. Jesus told the servants, 'Fill the jars with water.' When the jars had been filled, he said, 'Now dip some out, and take it to the master of ceremonies.' So the servants followed his instructions.

When the master of ceremonies tasted the water that was now wine," (John 2: 6-9a, NLT).

Jesus took jars that usually held water for washing the Jews feet and hands, and did something jaw dropping, something unexpected, something awesome. He took ordinary water and turned it into wine. Not just wine but "the best" (v. 10c) wine. He made the ordinary into something extraordinary.

God's plan has always been to take ordinary ol' me and ordinary ol' you and make us extraordinary. "For we are God's masterpiece. He created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago" (Ephesians 2:10, NLT). A masterpiece is created by taking something ordinary and making it extraordinary. We are more like the seed than the water. All that is needed to live an extraordinary life is within us, placed there by God from the beginning of time. It begins to grow when we encounter Jesus, planting ourselves in good soil. It is nourished by spending time with Jesus. It flourishes when we continually strive to follow him - to be like him and to do things like he does. Sometimes we struggle and go through difficult times. Sometimes we feel trampled. Sometimes we are faced with horrible illness. Even so, in time we become what we were meant to be all along - extraordinary masterpieces. Our ordinary is molded, shaped, and transformed into extraordinary.

  

What is holding you back from becoming extraordinary? What stands in the way of you flourishing?

Spring Forward

It's my favorite time of year. To see the promises of life coming from seeming death. A little back story on my life. I grew up on the western side of Washington state where it is green and lush year round. The evergreen trees are tall and ominous. Always green. Always full and beautiful. Then I moved to the eastern side Washington state where the trees are deciduous. Full and beautiful in the spring and summer and most of fall, but barren and gloomy through winter. They seem dead. Sparse and spindly. Not at all beautiful. Not at all green. Three to four months of drab, gray, lifeless scenery.  Then it happens. You begin to see crocus peek out of the ground followed by the tulip leaves. Little hints. Little promises that there is life after all. Hope that there once again will be green, lush leaves filling the sky. 

Sometimes life is drab, gray, and well, lifeless (not in the "I'm dead call the coroner" kind of way), but in the spiritual kind of way. The dark night of the soul it is sometimes called. Maybe it is just a season where you are just hanging on by a thread to life let alone your faith. I've been there. I hope to not go back anytime soon.

I am encouraged by the prophet Isaiah's words. 

                "Forget the former things;

                      do not dwell on the past.

                See, I am doing a new thing!

                       Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

                 I am making a way in the wilderness

                        and streams in the wasteland."  Isaiah 43:18-19

I don't need to dwell on the past lushness of my life. It will only bring me sorrow at its loss and I may miss the new thing that God is doing in my midst. Focus on the next step. Spring forward. Trust that there will be a path to follow and water to bring new life. The barren, drab, gray scenery of your life may be just on the verge of something new, something green and lush, something worth the journey, worth the waiting. Don't give up yet. Keep looking for the small hints, the little signs that spring is just around the corner.

What are you dwelling on today? What seems barren and lifeless? Where do you see signs of life?